Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
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Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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