I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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