when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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