no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
