Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
