you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
