id be glad to
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
