Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
