Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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