I wish my penis had an off switch
I wanna passion pit in your ass
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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