why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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