i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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