the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
