he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
