I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
