I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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