There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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