Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
