Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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