I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
