the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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