Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
