It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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