ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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