only you would photoshop your dick
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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