And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
