Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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