I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
that's an acceptable place to lick
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
