Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
