My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
my liver is dry heaving
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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