weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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