its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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