every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Randomize
