i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
