A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
