the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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