Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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