ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
