My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she told me i tasted like america
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
