fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates