I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
