do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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