Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
