You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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