yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
