i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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