did you get engaged???
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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