Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize