is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
