How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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