There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize