Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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