yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
