My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
