This is not my ceiling
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
