I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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