god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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