whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
