so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think I just sharted jello shots
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
