I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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