are you still at the devil's house?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
