it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
