dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
